I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
