One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I want to fling myself into the sun
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
