p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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