And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
