i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
