There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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