You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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