so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
