So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
