I'm going to jail i love you
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize