I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
