You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
