I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
