Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
