Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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