i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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