Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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