i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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