On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize