I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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