Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
