Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
