I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
