Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
