yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
