that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
