she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize