therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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