Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
