i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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