So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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