Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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