I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
