Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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