First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
