and she was petting her beer can
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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