Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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