trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
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