I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
