Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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