butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
