Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
