Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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