I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
