Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
