you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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