Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
BRING THE BAGELS
Pants are for mortals
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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