R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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