Me. At least after what I've been through.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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