3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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