Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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