she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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