I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You ruined the universe
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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