im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
