I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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