Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
