Dual....:-)
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize