I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
