I think im going to throw up on grandma
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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