he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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