Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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