I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
