sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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