Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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