Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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