i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize