Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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