I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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