ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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