do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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